A Bachelorette Blunder

It was a genius plan. The Bachelorette has never been as good as The Bachelor. There’s something about women fighting over a man that is pure entertainment, whereas men fighting over a woman? Well that happens every day in every town, USA, my friends.

But they had a brainstorm! What if it was TWO Bachelorettes? One is hot and sexy and dumb. And the other is cute with a personality. Who would the guys go for? Would hotness trump all, as it does in the real world? We needed to know!

And they just so happened to have the perfect women for this grand experiment. The Bachelorette franchise has been filled with contestants who just weren’t good enough. Meredith, DeAnna, that bitch who lived in a tent. And I don’t even want to go into the debacle that was Jillian. But here we had two women who we all could get excited about. Britt is legitimately hot. Kaitlyn is legitimately cool. Everything came together.

And then they got stupid. They decided to kick off one of them on opening night.


I can’t fathom the reason for this. Do they not want to entertain us? This could’ve been the perfect storm! Take the competitiveness of the dudes, add cattiness to the girls, and then the thing just compounds and combusts in an explosion of hot tubs and helicopter rides.

Think about it. A guy is there for Britt. But he starts liking Kaitlyn. Britt can’t believe it. This has never happened to her before. What kind of stops does she pull out to get that guy back in her camp? Um how about all of them?!

Oh, the possibilities. Alas, it wasn’t to be. So we’ll have to cope with Kaitlyn and her newly plumped up lips. At least there seems to be some interesting twists in store. The return of Nick! Kaitlyn fucking someone and then telling the guys about it!

So that’s good. But it could’ve been better…

14 thoughts on “A Bachelorette Blunder

  1. You just made my year!! I’m so happy you’re back! Please say it’s for good! This season will be such a shitstorm. We need you to guide us through!

  2. I’m 100% sure Britt getting the Bachelorette boot was engineered by Carly. Britt gets everything she wants, and now she’s been rejected like a normal person! How does it feel? Muwahaha!

  3. grrrr….really thought……feeling so betrayed. ya’ know ya’ watched it,….why the silent treatment?!?! I just don’t get it!!!! Doesn’t it feel pointless to watch this trainwreck if you can’t share your thoughts??? You and your silly silence alone are going to bring ratings down for that show. just sayin’

  4. caitlin is not hot, she’s getting wrinkled and overly skinny perhaps from smoking cigarettes? her personality is her best part as she’s very easy going

  5. Look, I get that you are on to bigger and better things BUT, last weeks episode was SO epic that I know a lot of us are craving your sarcastic viewpoint … please at least consider it!

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