We all remember where we were when Magic Johnson announced his retirement from the NBA in 1991, and I’m sure you guys feel the same way about when I announced my retirement from blogging in December. It just didn’t seem fair. A legendary career snuffed out while still in its prime.
Well, ever since that announcement, I’ve been mulling over exactly what I wanted to do. Could I really hang up my Macbook Air? Could I really keep quiet over the success of lesser talents? Would The Bachelor even stay on the air without me propping it up for the last 10 years?
These were difficult questions for me to wrestle with, but I’m happy to tell you that I did come up with some answers.
I am in fact done recapping The Bachelor. I’ve said all that could be said. I always feel like I’m making jokes I’ve done before. And it really kills my Monday nights because that’s also when my basketball league is, and let’s face it, my team needs me and needs my laser like focus.
In a related note, I’ve been working on my Dirk Nowitzki one leg step back mid-range jumper, and it is extremely effective. I’m actually starting to feel bad for defenders.
I’ll be honest though, it’s gonna be tough missing out on the Kaitlyn and Britt team up. It’s almost like The Bachelor Gods are fucking with me. That is borderline irresistible. But resist, I will. Of course I’m still gonna watch though. I’ve been watching The Real World since 1992!!! Many of you are younger than how long I’ve been watching The Real World. These ho’s ain’t loyal, but I am! I will stick with The Bachelor ’till the bitter end, when they’re bringing out Juan Pablo for a 2nd and 3rd go around and Brad (or is it Chad?!) for his tenth!
As for non-Bachelor related items, that’s a little tougher. So I’m gonna leave the door open to that. It might mean 1 post a month or 1 post a year, maybe less than that. But if there’s something I just have to get out there, that must be shared, I know I have notes from a hack here to share it.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for your comments. Thanks for 10 great years.
Please, it is not necessary to leave any goodbye comments. You already did that back in December, and I’m not trying to be a drama queen about it. And it isn’t goodbye, it’s a, “maybe I’ll see ya later”.
Notes From a Hack 
Thanks.
He doesn’t event jump that high. Love him or hate him, there’s nothing more beautiful than Kobe’s fadeaway.
I was so hoping for a rant against Kevin Smith, and I get this instead. I’ll just have to assume that you’re totally on board for Mallrats 2.
I came here looking for a post on The Jinx, and then I remembered you’re done. Sigh. What a sad day…
(Thank you again for all you gave us!)
Me too! That shit was awesome!
As I said prior going to miss you — Only reason I watch or try to watch that show is your analysis after — days of laughter gone …. Best always
Still nothing?
What the hell?
I still smile when I think about Christy Boyer and the Douche you were friends with. Not that you got hosed over by your friend. But that 20 years later, when I read your story, I smiled for the rest of the day.
I know you like your cool gym and all, but if you can step away from Penis-ville, a LOT of people would appreciate a little bachelor pad recap … when it airs. Think about it!
Hack – I was waiting for your comment about how the prospective bachelors were sitting in a room biting their nails wondering if it would it is Britt or Kaitlyn and apparently no one thought to say “all who voted for Britt come to this side of the room, all who voted for Kaitlyn move the other side”. Those cement heads could have ended the suspense in about 2 seconds. Sucks that I won’t get to read about it in a way only you can re-cap. Lots of good material in Episode 1.
Wow! I just got out of hibernation, and read this!? You were a staple in my internet diet. I guess everything changes. Who knows? Maybe we’ll even have a black president some day. How about his for an idea…You still do your recap audibly, then pay some change for people of foreign country’s with a horrible grasp of the English language to translate it for the rest of us to read?
This was from me.